Having been in the “spotlight” on social media and working retail for a large part of my life, I’m used to negative criticism and harsh comments. I really do think I have a thick skin when it comes to handling “hatemail” but one comment tends to keep bothering me every now and then.
Being called a “bimbo” by one of my male supervisors at work bothers me sometimes so I thought I’d rant about it.
Now the incident occurred months ago, around early October actually, but I feel like the events surrounding the incident are what really get me worked up. I received my first acceptance into an accelerated nursing program in September 2017, which I was beyond excited about but then a few weeks later, I received my acceptance into Columbia’s Direct Entry Master’s program! For me, that acceptance was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I was so happy- it was basically my Elle Wood’s moment. I was happy with the first ABSN acceptance but being accepted into a Master’s program at an Ivy League, something I never would have dreamed of in a million years, was absolutely incredible for me. And mind you, I’m not a perfect student! I have tons of flaws in my transcript- a couple C’s,D’s, and F’s! I managed to graduate with a 4.0/Summa Cum Laude after transferring from the pharmacy program into a state university (they didn’t account for my previous grades). So overall, my GPA out of undergrad was a 3.35, which was definitely not competitive enough for most Master’s programs- but I was happy with it given everything I had to do to get myself out of the 2.7 I transferred out of pharmacy school with. In fact, I was rejected from every Physician’s Assistant program I applied to due to poor overall academic performance. So when I got an acceptance from Columbia, you can just imagine my shock! “Is this a mistake?!”
I was so hellbent on going to Columbia that I didn’t really think about other factors such as transportation/tuition/the cost of living in NYC. I was extremely frustrated and angry with my parents for not understanding how badly I wanted to go there and probably also for not being happy for me.“It’s not real Columbia” “No one even applies to that program” “It’s just a scam” – some of the supportive comments from my dear parents🙄
Now that I think about it logically, graduating from a 14-month ABSN program, working for a year and then applying to a Master’s with the possibility of having a hospital reimburse my tuition is definitely a smarter and safer route. My mother, in particular, was adamantly against the MDE program due to my history of leaving programs. She was more worried that I would leave the program halfway without a degree after investing thousands of dollars into it (as I did previously with my pharmacy program). But trying to speak sense to me at the time was beyond impossible.
Trust me when you go your whole life as a disappointment and when you’re constantly told to accept that you’re just ordinary and shouldn’t set your goals too high, you really become overwhelmed with fervor to do anything and everything to prove people wrong. Even if it’s not logical.
Fast-forward a few weeks later, I finally came down to my senses and accepted that I wouldn’t be going to Columbia. But I was tremendously bitter. I didn’t publicize my acceptance anywhere and I only told maybe 2 other people outside my family so what did I have to lose with not going? Nothing.
Fast-forward again a couple days later when I was at work and I was asked to do a drug inventory check. I didn’t realize that the drugs were rearranged and being busy as usual, I asked the pharmacist “where is xyz drug? I can’t find it!” Maybe he was having a bad day since we were super busy but he bluntly responded with “Seriously? How long have you been here? It’s right here. You can’t be a bimbo here too.”
Sidenote, I met this pharmacist outside of work for the first time 3 years ago when I was in the pharmacy program. I didn’t have the best reputation in pharmacy school. Random people knew me because I was the president of my class but also because I had a rep of being a “bimbo”. There were a lot of factors that were hostile about the environment I was in, but I feel like I got that rep because I used to wear makeup/dress nice and ask tons of questions in class. “I’m sorry can you repeat that?” “I don’t really understand what you’re trying to say, can you go over that again?” I hadn’t heard “bimbo” in a long time and being called that again definitely had an impact on me especially since I thought I had overcome that label.
I passed it off at the moment but it just kept bothering me. “Is this what people think about me?” “Is my image on social media contributing to this?” “Will I ever be taken seriously?” “I bet if I went to Columbia people wouldn’t think I’m a bimbo.” It’s bothered me almost 6 months later and I kept thinking about it while taking exams so it’s time to come to terms with frivolous statements made by insecure men.
- The pharmacist wasn’t the first one that has said something against my intelligence. There have been a lot of guys in the past who have made similar remarks. It was just this recent event that pushed me over the top.
- You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. I’ve always wanted to prove those people who have said I’m incompetent wrong but again, that shouldn’t be your motivation.
- Being angry about what other’s think about you will only hurt you more and prevent you from moving forward in a positive direction. When things got difficult this past semester, a little voice in my head kept saying “you’re just a bimbo”. My anger fed my imagination which resulted in doubting my own abilities.
So what’s the moral of the story? Hater gon’ hate but you just gotta do you ❤️ Where you go doesn’t define you. Looking back, I really wish I had just gone to a state university or community college out of high school since I really did not know what I wanted to do at the time but I wanted to go somewhere “fancy” to prove that I’m smart to random people. I’m happy for myself about my acceptance into Columbia but I genuinely feel that I made the right choice by going to an ABSN program first. Besides, who said I can’t go there after I finish my BSN? 😉 God knows how many more arrogant and insecure men I’m going to have to deal with in the future but as a general note to myself and every other woman who has been ever been made to feel incompetent by a man, just tell them to @#$% off and do you 😊